A Prayer for Heavy Hearts

Church of St. Peter in Gallincantu

My heart is heavy for others today as I go about the tasks of a typical Saturday:

• memories of a life shared.  The joys and sorrows, laughter and tears as a family grieves the loss of one so dear
• a family who says goodbye to a husband, son, brother, friend as a soldier is re-deployed to Iraq for at least a year
• those who have received a diagnosis that is beyond imaginable
• the one who struggles with depression, especially in this season of short, cold, gray days
• children who struggle and hope for safe places to simply be
• children – grown children – who care for aging parents but will forever be a child when it comes to one’s mom or dad
• for pain that is too worrisome to share

You, Holy One, know pain, loss, and fear in ways we cannot comprehend.  Confident in your care but unable to shake my own concern, hear these prayers.  Hold up those who need strength.  Offer your grace in ways beyond our imagination.  Comfort with tenderness beyond human touch.  Stir within those without hope.  Bring light in the midst of darkness.  Be your life-changing self who can bring light in the midst of our dark nights. 

O Lord, God of my salvation,
   when, at night, I cry out in your presence, 
let my prayer come before you;
   incline your ear to my cry.  Psalm 88

I prayed Psalm 88 in the pit at the church pictured in this post.  The traditional site of the pit where Jesus might have been held during his trial.  The name of the church is based on the story of Peter’s three denials of Jesus. 

The Prayer I Wish I Could Have Offered

Tags

israel, John Gorka, memorial day, palestine, prayer

As I was preparing for the Memorial Day service I was reminded of John Gorka‘s song Let them in, Peter. Jeff and I had the chance to see Gorka last Winter and he offered this song near the end of his concert.

May it be so and may the Prince of Peace reign, particularly this day when we remember and when we grieve the loss of life even this day in the Gaza Strip.

Don’t Forget the Living Stones

Tags

israel, Middle East Task Force, palestine, PCUSA

On our closing evening in Jerusalem, after having dined in Bethlehem, we asked our guide, Gus, how we could pray for him.  “Don’t forget the Living Stones when you go home.”  Gus is a Palestinian Christian living in a land filled with tensions that I can only begin to understand.  I, along with 19 other Presbyterian pastors, had wandered the land of our faith for 15 days and had barely scratched the surface of the politics of Israel/Palestine.  My prayers for Gus continue as well as prayers for the other Living Stones, regardless of their faith claims.

The Presbyterian Church (USA) has long been active in the Middle East.  Most recently, a task force has worked for close to two years studying the complex issues in Israel/Palestine and will release their report for the upcoming General Assembly meeting this summer. 

Suffice it to say, not everyone is happy.  A colleague of mine in Atlanta, Marthame Sanders, who served on the committee has shared on his blog some of the recent concerns raised by the Simon Wiesenthal Center.  It is discouraging to read the report on the Wiesenthal website.  Words such as hostile activists, anti-Israel beliefs, radical agenda, “leaked” press release (it wasn’t leaked – it was a press release!), poisonous document, declaration of war, are fraught with emotion.  Some of the information is flat out wrong.

My intent for placing this on my blog is to encourage the mass of readers that come here (humor, friends!) to read the information.  All the information.  In addition to the links above, here is the response from the Stated Clerk of our denomination.  Read it.  Please.  The final report of the study team has not been released but I will place the link on here as well as soon as it comes out.

I will continue to pray for the Living Stones in Israel and in Palestine.  will you join me?

Blinders

Tags

Gaza, hope, Inauguration, israel, Martin Luther King Jr., Martin's Big Words

[image from www.perceptivetravel.com]

Blinders are such a hassle.  Unless you’re a race horse, I guess. 

K2 read to me the story Martin’s Big Words:  The Life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. tonight as I tucked her into bed.  Tomorrow we leave for Washington, D.C. for the inauguration.  She reads with great inflection for an eight year old and when she read the words about the Montgomery bus boycott taking 381 days she was apppalled.  When I told her what murder meant, she was dumbfounded.  She will not have the same blinders that I grew up with but she will have blinders.  Darn it.

I had a conversation with a rabbi today.  We spoke briefly about the situation in Israel/Palestine.  We see it quite differently.  I don’t share her history.  I am not shaped by the history of the Holocaust.  I don’t think it is as simple as Israel being right and Palestine being wrong (or vice versa).  People, people are being killed.  Violence begets violence.  Or to use some of Martin’s Big Words: 

Hate cannot drive out hate.  Only love can do that.

Yes, of course, we must be aware of the anti-semitism that continues to reign in too many places.  But that cannot keep us from speaking up for those who are without voice.  Yes, Hamas is out of control but to continue bombing will not solve the problem.  But then I think of the images and stories and artifacts I saw as I pushed myself through the Holocaust museum in both Washington, D.C. and Jerusalem.  How can they not fear what might happen again? 

So I wonder about my own blinders.  I’ve been reading another blogger and her take on the situation in Gaza.  She is concerned about the increase in anti-semitism throughout the world and seems to assume that those who voice concern for the people of Gaza are latent anti-semites.  I don’t think I am.  I’m trying to find a balance.  I pray that I might be gracious in my speech.  I hope that I listen well.  But then, blinders are an insidious part of our wardrobe.

By the time K2 neared the end of reading me the book, I was in tears.  What a different world we live in.  What hope the voice of my daughter brings to me.  Hold onto your hope, K2, hold on.  Don’t be afraid to speak up.

And thanks for your Big Words, Martin…

Sooner or later, all the people of the world will have to discover a way to live together.

Moving beyond the violence

I can’t quite wrap my head around the numbers:  one third of the dead in Gaza are children.  I’m sure the numbers of Israeli children killed over the course of the never ending bloodshed in the Middle East is equally distressing.  In the midst of all the horrific news I heard a brief conversation between two people who are seeking a way beyond the rockets and bombs, names and stones.   Their monikers are “Peace Man” and “Hope Man.”  One lives in Gaza and the other in Israel.  Here is how they describe their blog:

This blog is written by 2 friends. One lives in Sajaia refugee camp in Gaza and the other lives in Sderot, a small town near Gaza on the Israeli side. There is ongoing violence between Israel and Gaza which has intensified greatly since October 2000. Many have been killed and many have been injured. The media coverage on both sides has been extremely biased. Our Blog is written by 2 real people living and communicating on both sides of the border.

Such a glimmer of hope.

Is there anything that can be done?

Tags

Karl Barth, the layman

Gaza…Israel…the economy…marriages disolving (not mine!)… 

Lately, I’ve been wondering if it is possible for folks to hear each other when they disagree.  I read other blogs and hear conversations.  Even today I read the Layman (and my blood pressure did not go crazy!)  I’m not sure some of my colleagues truly want to find common ground.  Instead, they seem more determined than ever to simply point fingers, blast their voices and their perspective as the right one. 

Maybe it is age.  Maybe it is laziness.  Maybe it is a call to move my energies in other directions.  Maybe it is a trust in something bigger than my own passions.  I came across this quote from Karl Barth today. 

it is not we who must care for the dear God, but God who cares fo us.  In every respect we must take that into account, and live without anxiety on that basis.  God cares for us, and God cares for our church and our communities.  God sees to it that God’s truth does not fall to the ground, but rather that it remains on the lampstand.

I think I’m done engaging in pointless conversations.  That’s not to say I don’t care.  I do deeply.  I just don’t think I’m the one that has to change the world anymore.  We’ll see.  Center, Kerri, center.

Peace, peace…

Tags

Gaza, Howard Thurman, israel, palestine, peace

One of the passages of scripture that ruminated within me during my two week pilgrimage in Israel/Palestine was this one from Jeremiah:

They have treated the wound of my people carelessly, saying ‘peace, peace’ when there is no peace.

The violence in Gaza is overwhelming.  Neither side is without fault.  Pointing fingers will not help.  What is true regardless of where you stand is this:  people are being killed – children, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters – human beings.  And all this is happening 2 days after we celebrated the arrival of the Prince of Peace.  Sickening. 

Jeff and I shared the words of Howard Thurman this morning during worship as a reminder that Christmas isn’t over. 

The Work of Christmas

When the song of the angels is stilled,
When the star in the sky is gone,
When the kings and princes are home,
When the shepherds are back with their flock,
The work of Christmas begins:
To find the lost,
To heal the broken,
To feed the hungry,
To release the prisoner,
To rebuild the nations,
To bring peace among brothers,
To make music in the heart.
— The Mood of Christmas, 23

 

Will you join me in the work that is before us?

O Little Town of Bethlehem

Tags

advent, Bethlehem, christmas, israel, palestine, Presbyterian Peacemaking Program, security fence, separation wall

It was an eery experience to pass through the security fence or separation wall to enter the city of Bethlehem.   This picture of the wall speaks volumes – the city of Bethlehem is quite literally walled in.  I don’t want to offend those who might view this situation differently, but my heart of late has been with the people of Bethlehem.  The trip from our hotel took no more than 30 minutes by bus but the difference between Jerusalem and Bethlehem is shocking.  It was obvious that opportunities for education and work were limited. 

One evening while we were in Israel/Palestine, Rev. Michael McGarry, the rector of the Tantur Ecumenical Institute spoke with us.  One of my fellow pilgrims asked about what we could do as U.S. pastors to make a difference.  I will long remember his words: 

what makes you think you can do anything?  You should pray. 

So pray I will and I invite you to do the same.  The Arab Educational Institute is collecting prayers that will be passed onto the people of Bethlehem.  Will you pray with them?

May the Prince of Peace reign…

From Judgment to Wonder

Tags

Christine Kane, New Year's Resolutions, Wonder

Last December I met a wonderful colleague who pastors a UCC church in the Charlotte area.  She shared with me her mantra-of-sorts that she uses when she finds herself dumbfounded by the choices people make, the situation surrounding her – life in general!: 

Turn from judgment to wonder

I love that phrase and, I must say, it did come in handy when she and I traveled with 18 other pastors for 15 days through Palestine/Israel last winter.  (You know why, right?  15 days is a long time no matter how much you enjoy the company!)

At the same time NAE shared this phrase with me I read a blog from Christine Kane about new year’s resolutions.  I had read it about it on her blog previously but decided to take the plunge for the year ahead.  The concept is to choose a word to guide your thoughts for the year.  So my word this year has been wonder.  It is way too easy for me to fall into judging.  I don’t like that about myself mostly because it points to my own insecurities that seem to rise to any occasion, especially when I’m tired or stress.  I put wonder as the word on my screen saver.  I’ve posted wonder on post it notes in my office and on my bathroom mirror.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. 

What I’ve discovered is that it is a reminder to confess – to literally turn from judgment to wonder.  You Hebrew scholars remember that “repent” means to turn around as does the Greek “metanoia.” In that prayer of confession we often use each Sunday morning we are literally reminding ourselves to turn around.  To turn away from the stuff that keeps us from God (judgment) and turn to God (wonder).   

So I’m wondering:

• why I felt the need to give that scowl to the woman who decided to stand in the middle of the Target aisle chatting with her friend and blocking my way.  Could I have not just said “excuse me” with a smile rather than the scowl?
• why McCain chose Palin.  Seriously.  I know what my cynical self says.
• why Palin said “yes.”  I sure would not have said yes (not that I was ever in the running!)
• why we can’t give credit to those who deserve it and instead take the acclamation for ourselves.

Today I’ll be doing my best to turn my judgment to wonder.

Nurturing my soul

Tags

musings, poetry

I’ve been working hard at caring for myself – creating space to be, journaling, walking (dang foot is still keeping me from running) and reading poetry…  I can remember A’s love of poetry when I was in high school.  She was one of the significant adults in my life – youth group advisor, tennis teacher (I was NOT one of her better students!), driving coach (in a Fiat Spider!)… 

A pilgrim friend of mine shared a a collection of poems with me at our reunion last month.  Hafiz was a Persian poet in the 14th c.  This one is my latest favorite:

A Divine Invitation

You have invited to meet the

The Friend

No one can resist a Divine Invitation

That narrows down all our choices

To just two:

We can come to God

Dressed for Dancing

or

Be carried on a stretcher

To God’s Ward.

 

from I Heard God Laughing:  Poems of Hope and Joy, translated by Daniel Ladinsky